Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ah, Sweet September...

In Spokane Valley, Washington, the air smells like Earth. It smells like rain and grass and dirt, all mixed into a glorious aroma that smells somewhat like the coming of fall. Last week we had about a whole week of pure rain and we thought it was the end of summer for good. But, alas, it nears October and the sun has graced us with her presence yet again. These past two days have been a joyous occasion. As I walked home from school yesterday, I felt overwhelmed witht the beauty I saw. I could smell the sweet perfume of long grass and ripe apples being played about on the light breeze. I could feel the sun shining onto my face. I could hear the trees dancing above my head, their leaves still clinging to their green coloration for just a moment longer. I could see the mountains, purple and green in all their majesty, watching over the valley as though guarding us from anything daring to ruin the serenity of our oasis. I wanted to be a tree for just 10 seconds, so I could reach up and play with the last little bit of sunlight, capturing it and holding it for my own perosnal piece of light, just like a tree. I was content to just imagine it, though. My arms ached from carrying my loads of books and paper, and still I couldn't find anything wrong in those few short minutes walking home. It was like paradise, right smack dab in the middle of chaos and noise, even if just for a little while. As I look back on it, I'm baffled by it all. It's miraculous that the Earth, with all her bruises, scars, and desheveled physique, can still look so beautiful. It's like feeling a bit of hope and happiness, thinking that somehow, there is still life in the midst of everything. Thank God, in all his might and power, that He could give me a glimpse of the beauty that lies within the distasteful things that are so easy to see and judge by. I pray that we can see mankind like this; as something that may have some disfigurings and gruesome qualities, but has true beauty inside. Oh, how the sweet and lovely time of September has the ability to move us all, even with nothing but a whisper...

Monday, April 11, 2011

"Change the World..."

We can change the world...

With one act of kindness to another, we can make the difference.

We can change our home, with the spreading of love instead of violence.

With hostility challenged by peace, we can change the fate of human kind.

We can change the world, with love replacing anger in the mind.

We can change the world...

With an act of conservation, we can make a stand.

We can save our planet, with the spreading of awareness through the land.

With saving instead of taking, we can preserve our precious earth.

We can change the world, with embracing our home's true worth.

With our hands joined in hopeful happiness, we can change the world...

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Unanswered questions...

  • I am often told, "You are wise beyonjd your years." " You speak above your standards." "You are a very different kind of teenager."

  • I am often asked, "How do you think like this?" "Why do you think like this?" "Where do these thoughts come from?"
I am so very flattered by the praise I get for some of my thoughts and, quite often, stumped by these questions that my thoughts arouse. The only answer I can give is, "I have no idea..." All my life, I've been different. Not the kind of different where my skin glows or where people notice me all the time, but the kind of different in knowing that there is something I know that others don't. I've never been one to attract attention to myself. I've never tried to be the most beautiful girl or the most talented kid. All I've ever wanted is to blend in. From first grade to tenth grade, I've just wanted to be like everyone else. Part of me still does. I still want to be able to know the right things to say to people. I still want to be in tune with the latest fashions at school. But, alas, that's never happened. I suppose I'm what you call 'antisocial'. And, part of me likes it that way. Part of me likes knowing. Part of me likes being what it is. Walking through the halls of my highschool, I see kids my age who are always talking about the latest movie, or the new store that opened, or the guy who's dating so-and-so. And I've never been able to just fit right into the conversation. Because my mind is never in those petty thoughts! Part of me wants to care about that stuff. But part of me knows God has me thinking like this for a reason. Part of me knows that my thinking is always deeper than the skin but in the heart of things, because that's where it's supposed to be. But being different still isn't easy. It makes me self-conscious and insecure, thinking "What's wrong with me? Why am I so different? Why can't I just know what everyone else is talking about and leave it at that?" And each time I ask myself that, I picture myself on one side of a mirror. On the other side, there are people I know and interact with every day, but can never truly be with. Because, for whatever reason, God put me on this side of the mirror. The side that looks at the fights going on at school and wants to cry. The side of the mirror that doesn't care about what new store is opening at the mall, but cares about and prays for Haiti to get better. With my hands pressed against the glass, looking in at the world in wonder and curiosity, sorrow and frustration, knowledge and uniqueness, I know. I understand what's important. And those teenage qualms of the present day mean nothing to me because my head is always in the clouds looking down at the wordl for what it is instead of down there partaking in it. And it's so hard to explain this because in my mind it's so clear, but once it tries to come out, It's just a ghost of thought that slips beyond my reach once more... So, why is it that I am the way I am? I don't know. Because God wants me here on this side of the mirror? Because my heart is always going beyond the edge of things to discover and create? Becuase I hunger to know what great things there are in this wonderful world. What good is a mall, or clothes, when you have the whole world dancing at your fingertips? Why is it that if I tried explaining this to a random person in the hallway, they would walk away not having any idea what I was talking about? I don't even know if anyone reading this will understand, but if God understands (as I'm sure he does), then I have nothing left to say. Because God made me who I am for a reason. And that reason? Well, I'll just have to find out...

Sunday, February 27, 2011


Oh, I have so many wishes running round inside my head. So many thoughts and goals and feelings that fill my heart with dread. My wishes are the product of things that will never be. And it eats a hole inside my heart, as they slip away from me. I wish for love inside my home; for joy, for love, for peace. I wish for things i cannot grasp; for things beyond my reach. I wish my sister loved me too, and that she would believe, That I love her and that I hope she'll reach her hopes and dreams. I wish my mom understood my heart and what I feel inside. It seems so hard, to say the least, to tell her what's on my mind. I wish my dad didn't work so hard; that he didn't strain his will. He seems so overwhelmed, sometimes, that his energy is hard to fill. I wish we were united by our hearts, our hands, our minds. But what's the point of wishing if wishing stays behind the lines? Oh, I wish my friends were different; That they didn't live in the dark. But I am not my friends, and I can't change their hearts. I wish I were a better girl. I wish I never lied or sinned. But I am not a perfect child, and that's a game I'll never win. I wish my will were stronger. I wish I didn't suffer under pressure. Oh, I wish I could stop this wishing. And just move along for worse or better. Because that's the difference in wishes and dreams; Wishes live inside the mind. Dreams are those that know no bounds and never try to hide. Your will is the limit of dreams and can never stay inside. I dream of a world in peace. A world where satisfaction and harmony reign. A world where there is no hunger, and where there is no dictation of power. I dream of a world in healthy condition. A world where forests and clear waters thrive. Where animals and humans coexist in happiness, without the existence of foes. I dream so many dreams that I will one day live to complete. For though I am just a child, my soul longs to be replete. And if I lose all in my short time, two things I will believe; That life is meant for a purpose. To live with faith and follow your dreams...

Sunday, January 30, 2011

When the trumpet sounds...

My family and I watched the new movie, Secretariat, a few weeks ago and I was moved like never before. The movie opened with a verse out of the book of Job and I wanted to share it with you...
"Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane? Do you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear. afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles at his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds..." -Job 39:19-24

What is it in this verse that gives me goose bumps? Is it the power? Or the simple reminder in it? How is it that God was able to give such a powerful message to Job in the simplest of forms using one of His most simple creatures?
But then again, we are human, and God is superior to us beyond our wildest imaginations. The fact that we are special enough to recieve any of his love astounds me. I mean, seriously? How is it that there are people in the world who think that they are dominant to others? That they are more important. It is ridiculous. God doesn't care if you're a king or slave. Or if you're dirt poor or Bill Gates. He loves us each more than a dying man would love life. More than an eagle loves the sky. More than a horse loves the race...

Secretariat was a phenomenal movie and I think it is a MUST SEE! It made me cry and laugh. I could feel my heart soaring above the clouds and I could feel my very core trembling with a joyous excitement. Oh, it satiated any hunger I would have to feel freedom.

God Bless!
Linnea :)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Dear Pressure...

Dear Pressure,

Since you seem to have a lot of time to intrude on my life, I thought I'd drop you a line on how it's going. Then you don't have to work so hard to try to be sneaky about whatever it is you plan to do next.
I'd like to say that you are everywhere. I see you in the hallways, outside in the parking lot, in the cafeteria, in my classes, on the sidewalk, and even in my own house. You are not very subtle. Sometimes you come forcefully, and other times you are quite gentle. Either way, you are very powerful. It's not hard to see. I have many friends who have gotten pregnant because of you. Others, who have gotten drunk or smoked some weed or stolen something from a local store. No matter where I go, you are there too. Pressure here. Pressure there. See Pressure talk. See Pressure lie. See Pressure run. No one escapes you, do they? But through all my observations, I noticed that you take a most common form of people. You could be a girl next door. Or a group of teenage boys that were standing outside the school. You could be a teacher or a student. You could be anything! But, luckily, you are easy to identify. You leave your signature. The cigarette butt on the corner, the empty bottle in the trash, the pill case sitting in the bottom of her bag. You are like a famous villain. And you can't be stopped. Because we humans have Free Will. And Free Will is your biggest ally. You are strong, Pressure. And we don't often win a fight against you. We will give in and try that beer. Or go a little farther in that physical relationship. Or do some of those drugs. And we will fall because of it. Congratulations.

But you must consider something into your calculations; you have an enemy. You have a weakness. Encouragement. A form of yourself, come to think of it. Encouragement is the voice of reason in unreasonable times. Or the voice of wisdom in a stupid situation. She holds us back when you want to pull us in. She has many forms too. She could be a parent. Or a best friend. Or a pastor. Or a neighbor. Then again, so could you, but in that case, it wouldn't be much or a friend or a parent or a pastor. That is your cage. You are limited to those of weak will and mind. Those are the easiest for you to conquer. The most unstable.

And something else you seem to have forgotten is that the most unconquerable people are those who are backed by Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior. He is the Strong Tower. The Impenetrable Fortress. The Solid Rock. The Wall. And unfortunately for you, I'm on one side while you are on the other. You want to get to me, you have to go through him. And in that exciting endeavor, I wish you good luck. Cause you are going to need it.

Sincerely, Linnea

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Hourglass Effect

Have you ever noticed that when you stare at the sand in an hourglass as it pours from one end to the other, it doesn't appear to be making a difference? I mean, the sand is moving and the grains of sand in each end are changing, but it doesn't actually seem like it. And suddenly, you notice that the sand is pooled in the bottom of the hourglass and movement of the sand has ceased. It is completely still in the hourglass. I thought this was a great analogy for life in some cases. It starts so quickly and inevitably. It pours and pours. The bottom of the hourglass is always changing shape and form with the addition of each grain of sand. The new grains cover the old and, new ones continue to cover those as well. When you stop looking at the glass for a while, then look back, you notice it's changed. You notice the difference. And if you keep switching glances, you'll look back one time and notice that the sand has almost run out. And you'll anticipate the end of the sand. You'll hold your breath and wait for it to happen, knowing it will. Because life is the same way. It moves inevitably. You can't stop it. You can't change it. It will start and it will end. And if you take the time to notice what's going on around you, you'll find that the time won't even matter. That all you have to do is enjoy the life around you and you won't be wasting that time. But if you simply watch the time go by, you won't realize it when you have no time left. And it will be too late. I thought about that in each person's life and thought about the hourglass life of someone who commits suicide. Did they stop the sand before it had run out? I don't believe so. I think their life and it's end had been known and predetermined when it was made. The sand runs out when the life ends. The timing of all hourglasses is different. The sand in the hourglass of a 93-year-old man runs slowly, though it may be almost out. The sand in the hourglass of a newborn baby that dies shortly after birth runs quickly and ends shortly after it starts. So what do we do? Do we watch the sand fall without realizing that time is running out? Or do we take advantage of the fact that sand still falls, and that as long as their is still sand flowing, their is life left in us after all. But what is up to us alone, is what we do with it...

(Note: When I start my posts, I always start with the title. And it either helps to inspire me, or helps to add emphasis to the thoughts I'm expressing. I started this post with an image of a pouring hourglass and titled it "The Hourglass Effect". It inspired the actual post.)